[Arthur follows Eames' gestures with intense focus as he tries to digest every word he's saying. There's a knot growing in his stomach as he considers his options here - the things Eames is talking about really speak to something he agonizes about, but he also hates the idea that it's hurting Eames. It all seems insurmountable, and he has to be silent for a long moment before he replies. This isn't about the sex anymore.]
I don't... it's not about people thinking I'm gay. It's about people talking about me at all. That's why I try so hard to be normal, I'm trying... I guess I'm trying to make sure no one has any reason to talk about me because it freaks me out. I hate that it does, but...
[He pushes his hair back with a sigh. He knows on some level he is ashamed, if only because he knows what people expect him to do and being with a guy isn't part of that. It's kind of scary to go against what people expect.]
You get away with it because you don't care what people say. [he laughs nervously] I've always been jealous of that.
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I don't... it's not about people thinking I'm gay. It's about people talking about me at all. That's why I try so hard to be normal, I'm trying... I guess I'm trying to make sure no one has any reason to talk about me because it freaks me out. I hate that it does, but...
[He pushes his hair back with a sigh. He knows on some level he is ashamed, if only because he knows what people expect him to do and being with a guy isn't part of that. It's kind of scary to go against what people expect.]
You get away with it because you don't care what people say. [he laughs nervously] I've always been jealous of that.