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baby come back
[It's been some time since Eames has made the trip to Arthur's place, he's forgotten how long the walk from the station is. He kind of regrets not getting a cab or at least waiting for a bus because it is pissing it down with rain and Eames doesn't typically feel the cold that much, but he's soaked to the bone and his clothes are sticking to him and the wind cuts through him something awful. His hair is plastered to his forehead and he's pretty sure these shoes are ruined, to the point he doesn't even think about walking through puddles because it's not like his feet can get any more cold and wet at this point.]
[It's awful. He feels awful. He's cold and soaked and he can't feel his fingers and he just feels so guilty that it's almost scary. It's not like Eames has never been rude or said something uncalled for, but sometimes Eames is cruel and he's never been like that toward Arthur before. At first because he never cared enough, and then because he cared too much, and it's easy to forget how fucking easy it is for him. How he can target what upsets someone so easily and just twist it like a knife, make it into a weapon because he's angry and someone else is a convenient target to take it out on.]
[The worst part, maybe, is that Arthur was trying to help. He was just trying to be helpful and there's a million ways Eames could've told him he couldn't without being an asshole about it, but instead he pushed and he pushed and Arthur left and god he hates it. He's so fucking mad at himself. Spent days alone in the house waiting like it was just gonna blow over and Arthur would just come home as if it was some dumb little spat he needed an hour to cool off from.]
[Arthur's not gone forever, he's relatively sure. At some point he'd come home and be the bigger man about it, but wouldn't that just be another insult on top of everything? To make Arthur be the one to make the peace when Eames is the one who fucked things up to begin with? So here he is, sodden and freezing and miserable, knocking on Arthur's door like he basically never did before.]
[It's awful. He feels awful. He's cold and soaked and he can't feel his fingers and he just feels so guilty that it's almost scary. It's not like Eames has never been rude or said something uncalled for, but sometimes Eames is cruel and he's never been like that toward Arthur before. At first because he never cared enough, and then because he cared too much, and it's easy to forget how fucking easy it is for him. How he can target what upsets someone so easily and just twist it like a knife, make it into a weapon because he's angry and someone else is a convenient target to take it out on.]
[The worst part, maybe, is that Arthur was trying to help. He was just trying to be helpful and there's a million ways Eames could've told him he couldn't without being an asshole about it, but instead he pushed and he pushed and Arthur left and god he hates it. He's so fucking mad at himself. Spent days alone in the house waiting like it was just gonna blow over and Arthur would just come home as if it was some dumb little spat he needed an hour to cool off from.]
[Arthur's not gone forever, he's relatively sure. At some point he'd come home and be the bigger man about it, but wouldn't that just be another insult on top of everything? To make Arthur be the one to make the peace when Eames is the one who fucked things up to begin with? So here he is, sodden and freezing and miserable, knocking on Arthur's door like he basically never did before.]

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It's the same for me.
[His voice is a little thick, and it's not just from exhaustion.]
My life is so much... brighter with you in it. I don't even remember if I ever enjoyed anything as much as I do now. It's...
[He lets out a hesitant laugh.]
It's kind of terrifying.
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[He sighs softly, for as negative as the words might sound, Eames' tone is relatively positive. Happy, even. It's a sentiment he assumes Arthur shares, not liking the idea that there's somebody who can make such a difference to what you think and feel. It's terrifying and frustrating all at once, that idea of not being in complete control. Of handing some of that control over to someone else. It's not Eames' favourite feeling, that's for sure.]
But I'm happy with you. Moreso than I've been in a long time.
[Eames lifts his head with a bit of a wry smile, a hand coming up to brush his knuckles along Arthur's jaw.]
Even when you don't shave and that godawful beard grows in and I think, "why has he done this to me?"
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Some people like my beard.
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[Arthur's dumb face gets a quick kiss though.]
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I love you anyway.
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[Eames grins and plants another quick kiss against Arthur's lips before he lays his head back down.]
I love you too. Shitty beard and all.
[Now it's time to sleep.]
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Goodnight Eames.
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[His voice is a mumble into Eames' hair as he drags his fingers idly over Eames' skin.]
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Morning.
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You made a mess last night.
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[He has mixed feelings on what he wants Arthur's response to be, but either way he nuzzles into his neck a little. It'd be totally sweet and innocent if not for his fingers tracing over the inner curve of Arthur's hip down to his crotch, idly stroking through the hair there in a touch that's almost tender and affectionate rather than Up To Something.]
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[He lifts his hand to comb his fingers through Eames' hair, clsoing his eyes again and adjusting his hips under Eames' touch.]
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[It's really good.]
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[He wraps his hand around it again, pressing his lips to the base of it in the kind of affectionate gesture most people don't genuinely give to genitals.]
Oh, I have missed you.
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[Eames certainly doesn't think so, or doesn't care at the very least, but that's all the conversation he needs anyway. He looks briefly up at Arthur, but his eyes fall shut as he licks a stripe up the bottom of it, pressing a kiss to the tip and generally lavishing it with the kind of attention that suggests it's as much for himself as Arthur. Maybe moreso.]
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[He knows Arthur's always a little quicker to finish this soon after waking, but Eames intends to take his time until they get there, something obvious in the way he moves his head and presses a hand down on Arthur's hip to stop him getting any ideas.]
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