specifiercity: (arthur038)
Arthur ([personal profile] specifiercity) wrote in [community profile] ruffians 2018-04-25 02:14 am (UTC)

[Arthur doesn't look shocked at the question but it does give him pause. He's been doing a lot of self-reflection on this topic trying to anticipate anything Eames might run into but he didn't really expect to be articulating it right now.]

[He takes a deep breath and proceeds in a careful, measured tone.]


I mean, it was a long time ago, so I don't remember exactly everything I was feeling and thinking at the time, but it was definitely an adjustment. There's a learning curve to managing the hunger, so it can feel kind of... all consuming, at first. At one point I didn't care who died, as long as I ate, and I had to be reminded that human life is still important.

[He's not looking at Eames as he talks, feeling some shame still over the way he used to be.]

That's the obvious part. I don't know, I hope it'll be different for you, but... realizing I was dead left me feeling kind of hopeless. It's not like I've ever been the most cheerful person, but I... I don't know how to explain it.

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