vampire trash? me?

[falsify]

[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

[specifiercity]

[He lets out a tired laugh.]

I don't know if I've ever been like that before.

[falsify]

Really?

[He would've thought for sure with Dom and Mal...]

[specifiercity]

No, that was... something different.

[falsify]

[Eames makes a gently surprised noise, but truth be told it's definitely gonna be a point of pride that he's the first person in Arthur's (pretty long) life to do that to him. He doesn't say that though, lifting his head to look down at Arthur with a concerned expression.]

You okay?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur looks up at him with a tired smile and laughs gently.]

I love you so much.

[Maybe when he's not feeling so worn out he'll be able to convey the level of trust he feels, how that's the only way he'd ever let someone see him that way, but he's tired and wants to sleep right now and he thinks he might choke up if he tries talking about it.]

[falsify]

[If he had a heartbeat still, it would probably flutter a little at that. His expression softens and he smiles, dipping his head for a quick kiss.]

I love you too.

[specifiercity]

[He puts his hand on Eames' face, just looking at it and appreciating it for a moment.]

I think I might need to sleep. That was... a lot.

[falsify]

Hang on-- I'm going to pull out.

[He did consider just sleeping like this, but he wants to put his arms around Arthur and hold him, so he reaches down and slowly pulls out before rolling onto his side next to Arthur. Immediately trying to get Arthur to move into the best position for it too.]

[specifiercity]

[It's more comfortable for Arthur to be able to relax his legs after all that, so he sighs with the small relief it gives him and turns to cuddle into Eames immediately. Things are leaking, that is for sure, but he does not care in the slightest. He just wants to be held by his big strong boyfriend right now.]

[falsify]

[Eames grins and wraps his arms around Arthur to pull him close and hold him tight.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur was serious about the sleep thing. Unless Eames wants to have a little chat before they drift off Arthur fully intends to hop on this train to dreamland immediately.]

[falsify]

[Eames is more than happy to stay like this until the next evening, maybe not as worn out as Arthur, but still tired for his part. His grip doesn't let up through the day either, even once he falls asleep he keeps his grip on Arthur tight.]

[specifiercity]

[When Arthur wakes up the next evening, he smiles and hums as he snuggles in a little more.]

[falsify]

[Eames hums sleepily and noses at Arthur's hair.]

[specifiercity]

[He hums again.]

Evening.

[falsify]

Mm.

[He presses a kiss into Arthur's hair with a gentle sigh.]

Sleep well?

[Does he sound smug? he totally sounds smug.]

[specifiercity]

Yeah.

[He replies with a bit of a laugh in his voice, knowing exactly the smug smile on Eames' face and not begrudging him for it.]

What about you?

[falsify]

Like the dead.

[Isn't he hilarious]

[specifiercity]

[Wow he really did fall in love with a comedian didn't he.]

[Arthur pulls his head back to look at Eames, tired and serene.]

How are you feeling after the blood last night? Is it better?

[falsify]

Good.

[Similar to last time-- It's not enough, but Eames expected that. Right now he just wants to see how long it'll keep him before he feels like he needs a top-up.]

Not so hungry I plan on getting up if I don't have to.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur nods and sighs. He wants Eames to feel energized, to know that feeling. He thought maybe that display last night was indicative of something but maybe that was just going to happen anyway.]

That's good.

[falsify]

[Eames lifts his head to look at Arthur, frowning a little.]

What is it?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur considers telling him it’s nothing for a moment before he shrugs.]

I just want you to feel really good, you know? I guess it’s too much to expect that to happen after a couple pints of blood spread over a few days.

[falsify]

Yesterday was something else. Maybe I used it all up.

[He shrugs a shoulder.]

Right now the fact I'm not rushing to the kitchen feels pretty good in itself.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur smiles softly at him.]

Yeah.

[And then he cuddles back in, partly because he doesn’t want Eames to see the guilt on his face from feeling like he hasn’t provided enough blood yet. He should have been more prepared for this.]