i've got this feeling i can't shake

[falsify]

[This gathering isn't anything special, especially not by the "standards" Eames has been discovering over these last few years, but it is one of those things where the Lord of Autumn should make an appearance. A lot of fae and various other types celebrating some minor thing that Eames can't even remember. The drinks are good though, and there is the odd familiar face he actually enjoys the company of.]

[It's all just... Fine. Except for one thing, a fae who is absolutely stunning, unabashedly inhuman, somebody Eames would certainly love to take home were it a different time. But she's not interested in him by the looks of it anyway. During the latter half of the evening, he catches glimpses of her with Arthur, and he could brush off the flirting if it weren't for the way he could see it being reciprocated.]

[It becomes steadily harder to ignore, glances become hard stares with a clenched jaw for lingering moments, barely paying attention to whatever conversation he's found himself in. Entirely more interested in this display he's witnessing.]

Comments

[falsify]

[Eames practically melts against Arthur, sighing softly and pulling himself closer to drape himself over Arthur even more.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur reciprocates, privately hoping this is all Eames wants. He's still worn out from last night and he knows he's not really up to much of anything more than this.]

[falsify]

[Eames is much too emotionally compromised to consider anything more right now. He hums softly into the kiss and eventually pulls away so he can put his head on Arthur's shoulder.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur holds him and brushes his fingers through his hair, wondering if this is when the talking's going to start as he kisses Eames' head.]

[falsify]

[He's just quiet for a little while, soaking up what affection he's getting with a soft sigh.]

I love you.

[He does sound a little tired, but moreover it's tinged with a bit of a sad tone.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur doesn't stop what he's doing, letting Eames' statement sit for a beat before he replies, lips pressed to Eames' hair.]

I love you too.

[falsify]

[Eames sighs softly, turning his head to nose at and kiss his shoulder. He feels like he should say something, but he has no idea where to start.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's here, patient and ready for Eames to say something. Part of him wants to dive right in and tell him that he liked what they did last night, that he doesn't feel like an object in Eames' collection, that no fae in their right mind would covet someone as stubborn and neurotic as him for this long if that's all it was... but he knows better than that. That's not really the heart of the issue.]

[Another part of him is realizing the craving he has for another smoke. That's something he can put off for now, but it is a little distracting.]

[falsify]

[Eames isn't really sure how to broach this, no idea what to say that he hasn't already.]

[He rests a hand on Arthur's chest.]

I don't really know what to say. It's not as if there's some miracle solution.

[specifiercity]

No, there isn't.

[He puts his hand over Eames', brushing his thumb back and forth over his knuckles.]

But... you know if I had a problem with anything you were doing, I would have said something by now.

[falsify]

I know.

[He sighs, obviously wanting to say something, but it's really just the same shit he said in the garden.]

[specifiercity]

[He noses at Eames' hair, trying to be comforting.]

I'm just telling you what it feels like from my side.

[falsify]

[He lifts his head, looking at Arthur with a serious look on his face.]

You know how I feel about you though. You're not just some... Possession.

[Obviously he knows Arthur knows that, but he really needs to hear it.]

[specifiercity]

[He frowns with the gravity of the situation, hoping Eames really believes what he says.]

Of course. I've never thought that.

[falsify]

I know you know that, but...

[He exhales heavily, looking down at his hand on Arthur's chest. He's uncomfortable, but he has been pretty much all morning at this point, he can power through it.]

You're mine as much as I'm yours, you know? I don't want that to become unbalanced-- For you to feel as though I don't trust or value you completely.

[specifiercity]

That's—

[He sounds almost like he's going to argue with Eames on something, but it dies before he can even decide which word to say next. He stops and nods instead.]

Yeah. I don't doubt any of that.

[falsify]

What?

[He gives Arthur a questioning look, it seems like he had more to say. Or maybe Eames is just paranoid right now. Who's to say.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur looks away, trying to decide what he wants to say and how to say it. It takes a moment before he's looking back at Eames with a soft frown.]

I know you love me, and I love you. But we are different. We were raised different, and I think it's safe to say this goes beyond cultural differences. You can't just rewrite all the things that you were raised to believe because it doesn't fit with how you want things to be now...

[He takes a deep breath. God he wants a cigarette.]

I really believe you don't think of me that way, and it's not like you can lie and tell me what I want to hear, so I know that it's the truth for you when you say it. As long as that's the case ninety-nine percent of the time, I'm okay trying to figure out how to deal with the one percent of the time where it might not be.

[falsify]

[Eames is quiet for a long moment, trying to figure out what exactly that makes him feel. There's a lot of 'what ifs', a lot of reasons not to be this okay with it, but ultimately Arthur's right. There's really nothing Eames can do except be aware of it, try to deal with it when it flares up.]

[He sighs, leaning up towards Arthur to press their foreheads together and give him a quick kiss on the lips with a soft "okay."]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur brings his hand to Eames' jaw, speaking softly.]

Is it?

[falsify]

Much as it can be.

[He sighs softly, eyes falling closed, head leaning into Arthur's touch.]

You're right, I can't change this. And even if I could, it wouldn't exactly be instantaneous. So I'll have to learn to live with it.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sighs and leans in for another brief kiss, deciding that's a good enough answer. He stays there another few seconds before he starts to pull away with an announcement.]

I need another smoke.

[falsify]

Mm. But I was planning to take a nap on this excellent pillow right here.

[He sits up and pats Arthur's chest for emphasis. Looks like they'll have to find a compromise.]

[specifiercity]

You can come outside with me if you want.

[His tone carries an inherent warning that the smoking takes any precedence over Eames' need for comfort or affection as he gets up in search of that pack Eames had earlier.]

[falsify]

[Wow. Here he is in the midst of a crisis and Arthur won't lay down with him. Rude. Terrible. Eames huffs and stands, heading first through to the kitchen since he's pretty sure he left them on the counter.]

[Besides if this is how it's going to be, he's absolutely stealing another one and he has no remorse for it.]