ruffians | cool ways to handle feelings

[It's not necessarily that he's unaware of his feelings — Eames has spent enough time actively avoiding them that he has some awareness of the things he thinks and feels and would rather not deal with — it's just that if he was about to say something he had zero intention of ever saying out loud? There's ways he'd vastly prefer to have it fall out of his mouth than during sex without his express permission.]

[Of course, he didn't exactly deal with it well either. But when it just slips out between comments about how gorgeous and attractive Arthur is, and then they both kinda freeze up? It's a little hard to ignore that intense and sudden desire to not be there anymore. Especially when he'd pegged that uncertainty on Arthur's face and ended up babbling some apology and excuse about how he forgot something and hastily pulled his pants back on and left.]

[And then he just ends up pacing the hall outside Arthur's apartment, already embarrassed and frustrated with himself, but being shirtless and shoeless with an erection that stubbornly refuses to leave doesn't help. Eames pushes his hands through his hair with a frustrated groan, thinking over all the ways he's finally ruined this friendship with his dumb, stupid emotions and it was fine until he said anything and now it's going to be awkward at best but let's be honest it's ruined it's over he should just pack his stuff and go stay with his mother.]

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[Eames grins and drops his hands to Arthur's chest, feeling elated by all this. It's a little weird, and he expects he's not heard the last of his anxieties about this, but that can wait until later.]

[Arthur kisses him for a little longer and then pulls back just a touch, so he can talk as he noses at Eames' face.]

We should go back to bed.

[He nods, and puts a hand on Arthur's hip to nudge him up off the couch. He doesn't know if Arthur means to give earlier a second go or just to lay down, but both sound good to Eames right now.]

[Arthur feels energized but either would be good for him as well, thought he doesn't give much indication at all as he leads the way to the bedroom and pulls off his shirt to get into bed. He does get underneath the covers and is ready to latch onto Eames as soon as he's laying down as well.]

[That is more than okay with Eames, and he crawls under the covers, ready for Arthur as soon as he gets comfortable. He lets out a pleased sigh and noses into Arthur's hair, arms around him like always.]

[It feels the same and different all at once, and Arthur grins as he lays his head down on Eames' shoulder. He's so warm and inviting, and it feels like a small miracle that Arthur gets to be the one to be here with him like this. Someday maybe he'll be able to vocalize that.]

[More than anything, he feels content right now, and Eames rests his hand on Arthur's back, trailing his fingers up and down it in an idle motion. He feels a kind of pressure in his chest, some part of him that's desperate not to fuck this up, but he petulantly ignores that in favour of nosing at Arthur's hair and kissing the top of his head instead.]

[Arthur grins and gets even closer than he was, feeling that giddiness again. After a moment he lets out a sound that could have been a laugh.]

I can't believe you said it while you were literally inside me.

[Eames groans into Arthur's hair, more than a little embarrassed, and he huffs a weak laugh and uses his knee to smack Arthur's side.]

Shut up.

[Arthur laughs a laugh of pure joy as he wriggles away from Eames' leg but stays in Eames' arms.]

No, no, it's romantic.

It's embarrassing!

[He keeps laughing, so affectionate.]

Yeah, but that's, y'know...

[There's a hesitation in his voice but he manages it.]

Part of why I love you so much.

[It's a good thing Arthur can't see his face, because Eames seems sceptical of this. And embarrassed, but that's going to be his default state for at least the rest of the day. If not the week.]

What? Because I can't control my mouth?

It's very charming.

[Arthur says this like it might be a joke but he also actually feels that way.]

[Unfortunately Eames does kind of interpret it as a joke, and he scoffs.]

You'd be the only one who thinks so.

[Arthur pulls his head away to raise his eyebrows at Eames.]

So?

[His is obviously the only opinion that matters.]

Oh--

[Not that he's embarrassed, no sir.]

I just-- It's just a weird thing to find charming.

[Saved it.]

[Arthur doesn't respond. He just wriggles a little bit to get himself in a good position to lean in for a kiss, because Eames is just too cute and tempting right now. There's no way Arthur's falling asleep any time soon anyway, so may as well make out for a bit.]

[He'd protest being called cute if Arthur said it out loud, but thankfully he's being kissed instead and he practically melts into it, wrapping his arms tightly around Arthur with a sigh.]

[Arthur hums happily, wrapping his arm around Eames' neck. He'd press himself closer if they weren't already as close as can be, but his intention to get closer is definitely evident in the intensity that he kisses Eames with.]

[Eames makes a desperate noise in the back of his throat, definitely feeling similarly, and he arches against Arthur. He feels so fucking overwhelmed and he makes another one of those noises, fingers curled tight in the back of Arthur's shirt, and where Arthur strives to get closer, Eames pulls away just a little so he can breathe.]

Edited (fuck u) 2017-06-17 01:30 (UTC)

[Arthur echoes the desperate noise back at Eames, kissing him a little while longer with a growing hunger. When he pulls away to speak his tone is rought and a little rushed.]

If you wanted we could...

[He intends to finish that with "pick up where we left off" but it catches in his throat and the shift of his hips should make it somewhat obvious where he's going with it.]

[Eames wriggles his hips in response, but he's not 100% sure if he's up to it. He has a lot going on in his head and part of him is still honestly terrified that Arthur's going turn around and decide he doesn't want him.]

[He bites his lip and lifts his head to nose at Arthur's face.]

Do you want to?

I do, yeah.

[Arthur rubs the part of Eames' back that he can touch, feeling his face and chest heat up with the weird mix of emotions he's feeling.]

[Well, this is what they're doing then. Not that he has any complaints, and he'll probably manage to be a less anxious once things are really moving, but Eames would really rather start without any anxieties.]

[Eames is just gonna make the executive decision not to think about any of that until tomorrow and focus on this-- on Arthur for now, pressing a palm to the small of his back and putting an elbow down to take his weight as he moves to turn them and get Arthur on his back.]

You're not worried I might blurt out any other unexpected confessions?

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