maybe we show some mercy

[falsify]

[Usually, facing your fears means discovering they're not as bad as they seemed in your head. That your mind catastrophises and exaggerates and the reality is nowhere near what it seemed. Eames certainly wishes that were the case here, but it turns out the reality is far worse than anything that crossed his mind. He'd long since come to terms with the idea that getting caught meant death, but the captain of this discreet little crew made a point of talking about "re-education" with such conviction that it seems like a very real possibility. A real possibility that terrifies Eames in ways he didn't even know he could feel.]

[It's hard not to be mad at himself, and in fact he is. He's fucking furious. Years of being meticulous about hiding from the Empire rendered obsolete because some asshole wanted to make some quick money and Eames hadn't spotted the signs even though that's exactly the kind of thing he's supposed to be good at. And now here he is, bound in a cell on a ship, no idea how long he's been here or where they are — no idea about much of anything outside this room, actually — pumped full of power inhibitors to make doubly sure he can't escape.]

[Fucking hell but it hurts. Hands cuffed behind his back, made to stay on his knees for... A long time. Simultaneously can't feel his legs and yet the muscles burn and ache. All of him a mess of cuts and bruises, a mix of injuries from fighting back and some from cruelty passed off as discipline. He thinks his nose might be broken and one of his eyes is swollen into a semi-permanant squint. The longer he kneels here, the more Eames thinks the inhibitor injections were less about preventing escape and more about making sure he couldn't heal away the beatings; making sure he'd suffer through every moment of the trip "home."]

Comments

[falsify]

[This is an oddly intense way to ask someone to get up, and Eames frowns in confusion for a moment and then stands, offering Arthur a hand.]

Let's swap.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur takes Eames's hand and stands up, feeling oddly weak. He feels a bit ashamed too, ashamed that he needs this comfort even though he should just be here for Eames.]

[falsify]

[Eames doesn't mind it, still holding Arthur's hand as he sits and waits for him. As long as he's here with him, it doesn't matter how.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur slips into Eames' lap side-on and tucks his head right into Eames' neck again. There's a moment of silence before he speaks.]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't need you to do this.

[falsify]

It's fine.

[Eames wraps his arms around Arthur's waist and sighs softly, letting a hand drift down to Arthur's hip, thumb tracing circles lightly.]

[specifiercity]

It’s not. None of this is.

[Arthur puts his hand on Eames’ chest, looking down at it with a frown.]

[falsify]

[Eames swallows, momentarily uncomfortable, but if Arthur needs this then Eames is happy to provide. And maybe his reasons are less altruistic than he'd like — easier to ignore his own pain to focus on Arthur's — but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter anyway.]

There's nothing wrong with wanting some comfort. It's okay.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur doesn’t want to really argue about whether or not it’s okay but he does want to be held so he shuffles in a little closer.]

Can you, um... hold me tighter, please.

[falsify]

[That's an easy request to accommodate and Eames nods, squeezing his arms around Arthur to hold him close and secure, as much as he can without hurting him.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur lets out a soft, almost desperate sound once Eames' arms are tighter around him. If he could fall asleep here that would be ideal, but he's not going to and that feels a little selish anyway.]

[falsify]

[Eames wouldn't mind so much, Arthur's weight on him is its own kind of comfort, but he's content to stay like this. Humming softly and tilting his head to press a kiss to Arthur's hair.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hums and brushes his thumb back and forth on Eames' chest. This he can do for the next forty minutes or so until it's time to land, potentially falling asleep even though he's going to try not to.]

[falsify]

[Eames stays as he is, holding Arthur and nosing fondly at his hair. When they're close enough to land, he murmurs Arthur's name to check if he's still awake or not.]

[specifiercity]

[He’s not, but he’s only dozing off lightly anyway and he wakes up quickly when Eames says his name.]

Mm, already?

[falsify]

Yeah.

[He presses a quick kiss to Arthur's hair.]

Time to fuel up.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hums and rubs his eyes.]

Sorry - didn’t mean to fall asleep.

[He sits up to look at the displays, immediately mourning the lack of contact.]

[falsify]

[When he sits up, Eames leans forward to kiss his cheek.]

I didn't mind.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur reaches forward to press a couple buttons and then he turns to bring both of his hands up to Eames' jaw.]

I miss this.

[falsify]

[Eames pulls a lightly confused face.]

My face?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur frowns lightly and thinks on his response for a moment but ultimately decides not to beat around the bush.]

We haven’t been sleeping together much - I miss you holding me like this.

[falsify]

[Oh, right. Eames swallows and looks away, frowning. He hadn't even considered the knock-on effect his not sleeping would have on Arthur.]

Arthur, I'm still... I can still do this.

[It feels like the stupidest thing he's ever said, which probably contributes to why he's still not looking at Arthur.]

[specifiercity]

I know you can, but...

[Arthur feels a little foolish, sitting here in Eames' lap talking about how they don't cuddle enough anymore. Still he can't bear to get up just yet.]

It's just not happening much anymore.

[falsify]

[He sighs heavily and shakes his head.]

You only have to ask..

[specifiercity]

I never had to before.

[There’s a touch of imaptience in his voice as he slides off Eames’ lap, looking at the instruments and displays as if he’s going to find something to busy himself with, but he shakes his head instead.]

I’m sorry, I know I’m being selfish. I’m— I almost lost you, okay? I’m trying to give you space but I need you.

[falsify]

I know, I'm sorry.

[Now Arthur's not looking at him, Eames lifts his head to watch his back as Arthur does whatever, expression sad and guilty.]

I don't know how long... [No, not that. He shakes his head and tries again.] I'll always come if you ask me to.