i think i'm losing my grip

[falsify]

[Eames is not unaware of the pattern that's started emerging over these last months. The way the tension and the anger in him starts to build like a pressure cooker left unattended until he's ready to fight with anyone at the drop of a hat. It's almost easy to forget he's not like this after a couple of weeks pass, he's never been an angry person. Never been particularly combative outside specific situations. As the time ticks over, it's about all he can do not to start a fistfight with anyone who looks at him.]

[But then they do a job, and Eames gets an outlet for that violence coiled up inside him, and when they get back he's calm again. Serene. Back to himself. It's not something Eames is oblivious to, he just feels like at this point it's a state of being he has to accept. Every conversation he and Arthur have had gets filed away in his mind as something else to be ashamed of, something else that's off-limits, so this is just what it is now until Arthur gets sick of putting up with him and they part ways.]

[At least they're at the good part of things right now, a few days out from a successful job. Eames, at least, is pretty relaxed. Idly going over a few law enforcement transcripts while he eats to check if there's anything out here they should be aware of.]

Comments

[falsify]

I know.

[He hums softly at the affection and closes his eyes.]

Trying not to say how much I wish you didn't have to.

[specifiercity]

I know.

[He gives Eames a soft squeeze.]

[falsify]

[Eames puts a hand on Arthur's chest and curls up a little, quiet for a long few moments before he says something that's been on his mind since their last conversation.]

I was completely ready to leave. Just... Waiting for you to hit your breaking point.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur lets out a dry, soft laugh.]

You’ll have to push me a lot harder before I start seriously considering that.

[falsify]

Mm, feels like I'm really working on it though.

[It's partially a joke.]

[specifiercity]

You are.

[That’s also partially a joke.]

But it’s not all this shit you’re feeling that’s doing that. It’s the fact that you pushed me away instead of talking.

[falsify]

[He's quiet a moment longer and lifts his head to press a big, gross kiss to Arthur's cheek.]

I'm sorry.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur can't help but smile at the affection.]

I know.

[He looks at Eames thoughtfully for a second, then asks:]

Can we just drink our coffee now?

[falsify]

I finished mine.

[Sounds like a you problem bro.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sighs and sits back.]

Well let me drink mine, then.

[You can still cuddle up just be chill about it.]

[falsify]

[Eames snorts and pulls away after a moment and another kiss. And dumps his duvet in Arthur's lap.]

I need a shower anyway.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur smiles and gives Eames a quick once-over because he's very beautiful even all gross and sticky like this.]

Enjoy.

[falsify]

[He winks and gets up to leave the room, off to have a very thorough clean.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur watches him go, settling in to just rest and wait for Eames to come out of the shower. He'll get clean later.]

[A few weeks goes by and the whole thing kind of slips from Arthur's mind. It's not something he actively thinks about, preferring if anything to fixate on the times when they're most functional.]

[falsify]

[It goes in and out of Eames' thoughts, on occasion something that might cross his mind while he's working on something. Like running maintenance on the ship's weapons. Nothing needs any manual maintenance or repairs, so it's just hours of mindless work in the systems. So his thoughts drift, eventually to the fact that Arthur's gonna need practice at... It. And when he's in the throes of that whole situation, Eames isn't exactly going to be best placed to offer any kind of feedback.]

[He's also just super fed up of sitting staring at screens and stretches when he gets up, off to find Arthur and get in his personal space.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's probably in the kitchen taking stock of everything, as he is wont to do when he's got some extra time and they're between stops. It's just nice to have a list ready ahead of time, alright?]

[Anyway Eames' attention is very welcome.]

[falsify]

[Uncomfortable conversations can wait for a bit, right? First Eames is going to come up behind Arthur while he's doing whatever and slip his arms around his middle, forehead resting against the back of Arthur's head with a gentle sigh.]

Hi there, gorgeous.

[specifiercity]

[Oh that's pretty nice, Arthur likes all of that.]

Hey.

[He puts a hand on Eames' forearm but doesn't entirely stop working.]

[falsify]

[God this guy feels so good in his arms. Eames hums and tilts his head to nose at the side of Arthur's face. He's trying not stop him working, but also he likes him a lot.]

How's it going in here?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur leans into Eames' a little bit as he looks down at the tablet in front of him where he's keeping track.]

Pretty standard, so far.

[He turns his head towards Eames, a light smirk on his face.]

Have you come to distract me?

[falsify]

Thinking about it.

[He kisses Arthur's cheek.]

[specifiercity]

[Oh he loves that. Arthur grins.]

Maybe you should stop thinking and start doing.

[falsify]

[He makes a pleased noise and noses at Arthur's face a little, right up until he remembers he was looking for Arthur for a reason and frowns.]

Wait-- I wanted to talk to you about something, but you're so handsome it distracted me.

[specifiercity]

[That's slightly disappointing, but Arthur just raises his eyebrows at Eames, curious.]

What is it?

[falsify]

It's, uh...

[Why is this so hard. Eames frowns and pulls a bit of a face, looking for the right way to describe it.]

My... Situation?

[Love to speak dozens of languages and not find a single word.]