plot twist: teenagers are bad at feelings

[prethief]

[So. He said a lot of things he'd never planned to say at all ever. That's fine. Eames can live with that. He's said a lot of dumb shit in his life so far and he hasn't died yet.]

[Of course, previous instances of 'dumb shit' weren't an incomplete baring of his surprisingly complicated feelings surrounding anal sex. Which, well. He's never thought about it at any great length, so it leaves him feeling deeply embarrassed and angry about being embarrassed in the first place. Eames elects to spend the weekend with some other friends to blow off steam, any texts from Arthur getting a quick "sorry, busy" in response so he doesn't have to think about what a fucking moron he is.]

[It's harder to ignore him come Monday, but Eames thinks the fact that he's turned up hungover as fuck and mainlining energy drinks to get through the day does a lot to stop anyone from talking to him. And the one class he has with Arthur that day, he spends the time sleeping in his car instead. And the one after that. And basically the rest of the school day. Still there once people start filtering out for the end of the day.]

Comments

[interpunct]

I want to talk to you.

[Arthur says this very frankly and honestly. He's had a lot of time to think about all this stuff.]

[prethief]

Uh.

[It's not like he didn't see it coming, but Eames' brain still kind of stalls when he hears Arthur say it. Frowning at the windshield as he pulls out of the car park to start driving.]

So yours or mine?

[interpunct]

Yours.

[Arthur feels like both of them are more comfortable on average at Eames' house. He knows they need to talk about this and maybe make out a bit (they've gone entire weekends without making out before but this one felt significant) so Eames' house seems more appropriate.]

If that's okay.

[prethief]

Mm, sure.

[He's forcing it, obviously. Trying to seem cool and collected because he doesn't have an exit strategy other than "move back to England and never see Arthur again," which would be difficult to say the least. So maybe if he can pretend he's totally fine then it'll all be over quick and painless.]

[He's quiet the whole drive though, unable to think of much to say unprompted right now.]

[interpunct]

[Arthur's quiet too, unsure of when exactly he can start talking or even how to start this conversation. He waits until they get there and they're getting out of the car before he talks at all.]

Eames...

[prethief]

Yeah?

[He glances up at Arthur as he locks the car, curious for a moment before he goes to let them in the house. Cool as a cucumber. Everything is totally fine.]

[interpunct]

[Arthur sighs and braces himself for a negative reaction just in case.]

You're acting weird.

[prethief]

[Eames raises an eyebrow as he opens the door, briefly contemplates the living room but he doesn't want his mum to get back and they're still doing... Whatever this is.]

[His room it is then.]

I don't think I am.

[interpunct]

[Arthur follows, looking concerned.]

You didn't text me back all weekend and then you showed up to school today hungover. The hungover part is whatever but you just quit talking to me after Saturday morning.

[prethief]

I was busy.

[He shrugs and sits down on his bed, scratching his head with a sigh.]

Sorry, but it happens.

[interpunct]

[Arthur doesn't know what to say to that. Eames is doing a fine job of avoiding the subject entirely, so maybe it's time to change tack. He sighs and sits down next to Eames, giving him a bit of space, staring down at his hands.]

It was really embarrassing for me to say all that stuff and then you just gave me radio silence all weekend.

[prethief]

What have you got to be embarrassed about?

[Here he is, totally missing the issue.]

[interpunct]

Well, not embarrassed, but...

[He rubs the back of his neck.]

You know it's hard for me to talk about that stuff. I told you I wanted that and then you just let me freak out for two days about it.

[prethief]

I'm sorry, I am, I just...

[He sighs, looking down at his hands in his lap.]

I needed some space.

[interpunct]

[Arthur stops himself from immediately asking why, furrowing his brows and looking up at Eames.]

Well, I kinda needed someone to keep me from feeling crazy over all this, and it's not like I was going to talk to anyone else about it.

[prethief]

Well maybe I wasn't exactly in the right place to deal with it.

[It comes out harsher than intended, but that's that. He sighs and pulls a leg up, hugging it to his chest with a frown.]

[interpunct]

[This time Arthur can't help himself. He tries to sound patient but he doesn't understand and he's desperate to so they can move on from this.]

Why? You said you thought about it and I told you I wanted to try it. I don't get why you're freaking out about this.

[prethief]

Look, you don't-- [He sucks in a breath, still not looking at Arthur. Because now he feels like he's overreacting to something stupid and that just makes him feel embarrassed all over again.] Just forget it, okay?

[interpunct]

No, stop. [Arthur turns to him and stops just short of putting his hand on his shoulder.]

I want to understand this.

[prethief]

I don't think you can.

[interpunct]

[Arthur considers that possibility with a frown, and decides he doesn't like it.]

Try me.

[prethief]

It's... Complicated. [He huffs a small laugh.] And stupid, probably.

[Eames frowns, resting his chin on his knee, and gestures broadly.]

I just... You're so normal, you know?

[Great start excellent work.]

[interpunct]

[Arthur sighs and turns toward him on the bed.]

Only because I try so hard to be.

[prethief]

[HA... He'll have to circle round to that because there's another thing he has complaints about.]

Yeah, okay, but-- I'm not like that. I don't know how to be like that. We don't even think about stuff the same way and I...

[He's gesturing a lot while he speaks, but he pauses to drag his hands down his face, struggling to find the words and filter them out before everything he's thinking comes tumbling out on its own.]

Maybe I'm fucked up, you know? Maybe I'm fucking you up too.

[interpunct]

[Arthur's never thought of Eames as a self-conscious person. That's part of the reason he's so drawn to him - he's jealous of how much confidence he manages to show. It's exciting being around him for that. So this is new and it's hard for him to deal with, and he does his best to be patient but firm.]

You're not fucked up, and I don't get how you think you'd be fucking me up. It's not like I'm some impressionable kid.