terrance ward || trauma (
traumatizing) wrote in
ruffians2017-04-10 02:33 am
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just rename this musebox 'the dump'
[If he hates parties, Terry hates the inter-label parties even more. It's exhausting being around all these people and pretending not to hate everything and everyone and having to introduce himself to all these Virgo people as if he cares about these conversations and doesn't just want to go back to his bed.]
[He's coming in from a smoke break (read: going outside in a desperate bid to get away from people for 10 minutes) when he bumps into someone on his way back in and immediately puts his hands out to steady whoever it was as if he's in any way bulky enough to knock someone bigger than a toddler over.]
Shit-- Sorry.
[He's coming in from a smoke break (read: going outside in a desperate bid to get away from people for 10 minutes) when he bumps into someone on his way back in and immediately puts his hands out to steady whoever it was as if he's in any way bulky enough to knock someone bigger than a toddler over.]
Shit-- Sorry.
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[This part is easy, Terry has pretty much no apprehensions about it, and he starts working up to what he thinks Finnick wants. Something a little hard and fast but not too much of either.]
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[He almost feels paralyzed, pinned down to the bed lying there, he almost forgets Terry's there for a while.]
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[He's not exactly great at just leaving people when he thinks they're upset though, and he puts his other hand down on Finnick's thigh to try and catch his attention.]
You alright?
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[His voice catches in his throat when he tries to speak, and when he hears it he squeezes his eyes shut and covers his face with his hand. There's something very familiar about this sinking sense of dread but he can usually ignore it and act like nothing's wrong. He knows Terry must think he did something wrong and some part of Finnick wants to tell him that's not it, but he can't even speak right now let alone communicate something so delicate.]
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[But he can't ask if Finnick won't talk to him, and he exhales a slow, heavy breath. Talking Finnick down is something he at least has some experience with, and the guy hasn't tried to kill him this time so that makes it a little easier to think.]
[Terry moves from between Finnick's legs to crawl up the bed and sit next to his head, hugging his knees to his chest with one arm and drops his other hand to comb his fingers through the front of Finnick's hair. Voice low and gentle when he speaks.]
Do you want me to leave?
[He can't help but feel like it'd be a bad idea to leave him here alone, but if it's what he wants there'd be shit all Terry could realistically do.]
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[It's another few moments before he tries speaking again, his hand still covering most of his face.]
I can't-- I don't know what's--
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Take your time, it's alright.
[He feels a little guilty that part of him wants this to be something else and not something he did, but Terry keeps that concern to himself.]
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[None of this is alright. It's all very distressing. He wishes he could describe what's going on right now but he's having trouble sorting it out in his head let alone forcing the words out.]
[He finally pulls his hand away, but his eyes are still squeezed shut like he's trying to focus on making his body obey him and stop freaking out. It's a losing battle.]
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[As if to punctuate that, he slides down to lay next to Finnick. He doesn't curl up to him or anything, but he stays close enough for his presence to be felt.]
If you need to talk about it or just need someone to stay with you for a while, I'm right here.
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I'm sorry, this isn't how this is supposed to go, I'm... I feel like I'm somewhere else...
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Look at me.
[It's soft, a suggestion more than it is an order, and he watches Finnick's face to see how any of this is going over.]
Focus on my voice, focus on your breathing, okay?
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[He shakes his head and starts bracing himself on the bed like he's going to try and sit up.]
You don't understand.
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[He hesitates, still with his hand on Finnick's face, but it's worth asking.]
... It's like you're not you, right? Like there's some whole other life you don't remember?
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No, I'm trapped.
[That's the only feeling he can get straight right now.]
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