ruffians | baby come back

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baby come back

[It's been some time since Eames has made the trip to Arthur's place, he's forgotten how long the walk from the station is. He kind of regrets not getting a cab or at least waiting for a bus because it is pissing it down with rain and Eames doesn't typically feel the cold that much, but he's soaked to the bone and his clothes are sticking to him and the wind cuts through him something awful. His hair is plastered to his forehead and he's pretty sure these shoes are ruined, to the point he doesn't even think about walking through puddles because it's not like his feet can get any more cold and wet at this point.]

[It's awful. He feels awful. He's cold and soaked and he can't feel his fingers and he just feels so guilty that it's almost scary. It's not like Eames has never been rude or said something uncalled for, but sometimes Eames is cruel and he's never been like that toward Arthur before. At first because he never cared enough, and then because he cared too much, and it's easy to forget how fucking easy it is for him. How he can target what upsets someone so easily and just twist it like a knife, make it into a weapon because he's angry and someone else is a convenient target to take it out on.]

[The worst part, maybe, is that Arthur was trying to help. He was just trying to be helpful and there's a million ways Eames could've told him he couldn't without being an asshole about it, but instead he pushed and he pushed and Arthur left and god he hates it. He's so fucking mad at himself. Spent days alone in the house waiting like it was just gonna blow over and Arthur would just come home as if it was some dumb little spat he needed an hour to cool off from.]

[Arthur's not gone forever, he's relatively sure. At some point he'd come home and be the bigger man about it, but wouldn't that just be another insult on top of everything? To make Arthur be the one to make the peace when Eames is the one who fucked things up to begin with? So here he is, sodden and freezing and miserable, knocking on Arthur's door like he basically never did before.]

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[Arthur lets out a soft moan, putting his hands all over Eames' back and sides and chest as he kisses him. He feels so good, and when Arthur pulls away it's definitely reluctant.]

Feels like it's been a while.

[He doesn't know what he's being hesitant about or why but there's definitely a trace of it in his voice.]

Yeah.

[Eames arches a little under Arthur's hands, eyes scanning his face for a moment to try and figure out what he's feeling exactly.]

We can just... Lay down. [He lifts a hand to brush through Arthur's hair.] I just want to feel close to you.

I'm just not sure I...

[He's felt vulnerable with Eames before, but never quite this flavour. It's hard for him to wrap his head around - acknowledging that Eames has the ability to hurt him the way he did was a struggle all on its own, and now feeling like he needs him this much almost seems weak, even if Arthur keeps telling himself it's not. He feels tired and raw and frustrated and needy all at the same time and it's leaving him in a state of confusion about how this should proceed. He keeps his hands on Eames, though, sure that whatever happens he wants him to stay close.]

Whatever you want, Arthur. Anything.

[He doesn't know if that's helpful or not, but it's true. He's fairly certain it's the case most of the time anyway, but right now it feels especially important. If only to make things up to him, or prove how much he cares or some other shit like that.]

Even if you want me to go out right now and... Find your favourite brand of cereal. I'll do it.

No, I...

[He puts his hand on the side of Eames' face to drag his thumb along Eames' cheekbone.]

Just forget I said anything.

No, what is it?

[It's gonna bug him forever, and he's worried it's important.]

I guess I just wish I could forget all of this happened for a little while.

[He sounds frustrated with himself.]

I just want things to be normal right away.

[Eames makes a sympathetic noise, agreeing with Arthur. Even if Arthur forgives him (and Eames isn't certain he does,) that doesn't take away what happened.]

I wish I could undo it or just fix it, make it like it never happened. Make us okay.

[He sighs, a bit of a sad smile on his face.]

Sadly, I'm not that kind of fae.

That's okay. It's better that you aren't.

[Much as he loves magic, he doesn't want it to solve these kinds of problems. He sighs and puts his hand on Eames' chest.]

Let's just keep doing what we were doing. I'll tell you if I need to stop.

[Eames nods and leans down to kiss Arthur again, brushing his lips lightly against his before he presses them together. He puts a hand on Arthur's shoulder, the other resting at his neck with his thumb brushing back and forth along his jaw.]

[Arthur lets out another hum, hands traveling up and down Eames' sides until one of them finds itself at the base of Eames' neck and the other down at his hip, fingers digging into the waistband of the sweatpants but not slipping under just yet.]

[Despite himself, Eames hesitates. He knows what he'd do under normal circumstances, but this isn't those. For a moment he's still under Arthur's hands, a moment that feels far too long before he's shifting forward to press himself against Arthur with a desperate noise.]

[Arthur responds with a similar noise, finally slipping his hand into Eames' pants to dig his fingers lightly into his ass. Just feeling his skin is so good and Arthur's not sure if he wants this to progress or if he just wants to feel up every part of Eames all night long.]

[Eames will take either, but his natural response to being felt up like this is always to get a little frisky and he's not sure if that's right right now. He makes another one of those desperate noises, pressing his hips down against Arthur's but not moving otherwise.]

[Arthur suggests laying down between kisses, giving Eames a moment to process the information before he starts to pull away and shuffle up the bed, pulling back the covers so they won't be on top of them.]

[He goes with, laying half on top of Arthur so he can put a hand on his hip, fingers digging in a little in that need to be close and to keep him there as he leans in for another kiss.]

[Arthur hums desperately again, putting his hand on the back of Eames' neck so he can kiss him hungrily. He may just be a little more aggressive in an attempt to drown out all the thoughts he has floating around in his head but that's fine as long as he's honest with himself later, right?]

[It's a little startling, but Eames is fine with it, he thinks. Kissing Arthur back with the same intensity to try and match him, still holding his hip tightly and using that grip to pull himself up against Arthur a little more.]

[Arthur's hand finds its way under Eames' waistband again, pushing his pants down a few inches in the process. He knows he still wants his hands all over Eames, so he plans to keep pursuing that and they'll just have to see where it gets them.]

[Eames groans softly, hand dragging up from Arthur's hip over his stomach. He's trying really hard not to push Arthur and let him figure out what he's up to right now on his own, but god he wants Arthur inside him and being touched like this only amplifies that need.]

[Arthur rolls his hips, maybe a little insistently, and brings one leg up to hook behind Eames' leg as his fingers dig into Eames' ass. Part of him really wishes Eames would stop being hesitant and just go for it so they can fuck hard enough that his brain stops working for a few minutes, but he appreciates it at the same time. He'd just rather not say out loud what he wants.]

[Eames groans softly, rocking back against him thoughtlessly. He's trying, but Arthur's really pushing his restraint and it's making it hard to think about much else. He wishes Arthur would just tell him what he wants, but experience dictates the times when he wants that are also the ones where Arthur's most reluctant to just come out and say it, so he's just going to have to be the one to make that step.]

[He's a little breathless when he stops kissing Arthur long enough to speak, voice low and a little hushed and despite himself, the worry is there in his tone. That for whatever reason he won't want this-- want him right now and ask him to leave.]

I need you.

[Arthur pauses like he has to think about, slowly catching his breath as he looks up at Eames like he's just now realizing how excellent every detail of his face is. After a moment he nods and responds with the same tone as Eames.]

Okay.

[He lets out a breath, at once relieved and a little anxious all over again. He's not used to reconciling after a fight like this, especially not going out on a limb to be the one to do it himself. He's more worried than he thought he could be that this isn't okay, that Arthur's not interested in forgiving him.]

You sure?

[god that might be the dumbest question he's ever asked Arthur]

[Arthur makes a sound that's halfway between a wince and a laugh, looking away for a second. He's had to work a lot on being completely honest with Eames, especially when he asks follow up questions like that, so this comes easier than it may have a few years ago. A few years ago he'd just say yes and get on with it. It's not like that with Eames.]

Honestly, I think we both need each other right now.

[He frowns in sympathy.]

What I really want is just to shut my brain off for a few minutes.

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