i'm gonna leave you

[falsify]

[The last few months with Arthur have been... Nice. Really, really, nice. In some ways he's been happy that he convinced Arthur to take that day off, because it's opened them up to spending more time together for reasons other than sex, (though the sex, as always, has been outstanding,) and Eames has enjoyed it. A lot. It's something he hadn't ever thought of as missing in his life, but he could get used to it.]

[That's a problem.]

[He's seen relationships undo enough people in his line of work that that alone makes him hesitant, but with Arthur, well. Sleeping with a cop is fun, and mutually beneficial, but there's no long-term to something like that and Eames can't let himself get attached. He respects Arthur enough too, to at least do him the decency of talking to him and explaining himself instead of just vanishing. Arthur's more than good enough to track him down and shoot him if he did anyway.]

[He's been going over it again and again, and eventually he just decides to let himself in one night, waiting for Arthur to get home in his living room so they can just get this over with.]

Comments

[specifiercity]

[Arthur leans against a wall opposite Eames and takes a sip of beer.]

Is this really what you want? Is this what you want to suffer through?

[falsify]

I wouldn't be here if it was.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hesitates but pushes off the wall, crossing to stand in front of Eames, well within reach but not touching him. His voice is soft.]

If you could have fixed this any other way, what would you have wanted? How would your life look right now if you could have anything?

[falsify]

Well I wouldn't be breaking into your home in the middle of the night to apologise.

[It's not even a joke, it just feels like the best jumping off point, but the truth is he has no idea how to answer that. He shakes his head and pushes a hand through his head.]

I don't know. I know I want you, but I don't want either of us to give anything up for that to work.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur looks down at his drink, then out the window with a sigh.]

What if some parts of it are worth giving up?

[falsify]

[He swallows, looking at Arthur's drink too.]

Like what?

[specifiercity]

[He shrugs slowly, thoughtfully.]

I don't have to be with this police department to do what I like. I don't even have to be with the police. If I were so dedicated to that part of the job, I never would have started sleeping with you or done half of the other shit I've done to get cases closed. There are a million different ways to do what I do and a million different places I could do it.

[falsify]

[Part of him thinks maybe they should save this for when Arthur's sober, but it's not like it's a secret that Arthur hates more of the job than he enjoys. Maybe this has just pushed him to that breaking point.]

[Still...] It'd raise a lot of questions if you quit your job and suddenly started hanging around with me, of all people.

[specifiercity]

[He snorts and takes a swig from his beer.]

Not if I'm in another country.

[falsify]

[Eames' eyebrows shoot up at that.]

So we're talking about relocating now?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur looks at Eames and wrinkles his nose like he's tasted something sour before he turns away.]

If you wanna have it your way we're not talking about anything at all.

[falsify]

[Oh. Well he doesn't really know what he's supposed to say to that. Eames purses his lips and nods, shaking his head, and after a moment he turns to go back out the window. If this is what's going to happen then he doesn't see how any productive conversation is going to pass between them.]

Okay. Fine.

[specifiercity]

Don't you fucking dare go out that window.

[Arthur sets his gaze hard on Eames and watches him like he'll pounce if Eames actually goes.]

[falsify]

[Eames stops and looks over his shoulder, but he's clearly still considering it.]

What do you want from me right now?

[Because honestly he's not going to stand around for Arthur to give him shit.]

[specifiercity]

I don't want you to leave again.

[Another swig. His voice gets a little quieter.]

I want you to consider that I might be willing to change things for this.

[falsify]

Then please don't do that when it feels like we're moving forward.

[There's a genuine note of pleading in his voice; he just wants to know where they're going from here. Arthur can give him all the crap he wants when they're secure.]

[specifiercity]

Well I'm fucking mad at you!

[He snaps emotionally, which is a little out of character, but he gathers himself right away. Shrinking back down to the quiet voice from before, the pathetic man who's acting like he lost everything.]

But I think I need you.

[falsify]

[Eames hesitates a little, but he turns back to face Arthur properly and takes a step toward him.]

You are... God, you're under my skin, you're always on my mind... Being apart from you is one thing, but I don't think I could take not having you in my life.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sighs and turns towards him, nodding to the couch.]

Can we sit down and talk about it?

[falsify]

Yeah.

[He waits for Arthur to move first and then follows him over, sitting with a slightly uncomfortable look on his face, like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur puts his beer down on the coffee table and leans back with a sigh, tilting his body towards Eames. He can't meet his eyes when he says what he says.]

I would relocate. It'd be easy enough to make it seem like a temporary thing, just in case.

[falsify]

Okay.

[He makes another noise of discomfort, this time because he's about to be genuinely considerate and he doesn't like the way that feels.]

I can go pretty much anywhere, that's fine. I just want to be sure this is what's best for you.

[specifiercity]

[He throws his hand up.]

My family's not even here, and I don't really have any friends I'd miss. A lot of private sector work can be done remotely and even then I have enough saved up to take a break and ease into it with a part-time schedule.

[He looks down, a hand settling between them on the couch.]

What about you? I don't want you to drag yourself out of here if you don't want to go. Just because I'm ready to pick up and leave doesn't mean you have to consider it.

[falsify]

I'm always ready to leave.

[It's only a little flippant, and Eames exhales, thumb rubbing over the side of his finger in the absence of anything to fiddle with.]

I've never really felt attached to any particular place. I like it here, but you're about the only thing that makes it a place worth staying in.

[specifiercity]

[That makes something tighten in his chest and he finally puts his hand on Eames' knee.]

I, uh... I made a list of countries where extradition's at least a pain in the ass.

[He leans over and shuffles some papers out of the way to get a list of scribbled names to hold it out to Eames.]

I've had a lot of time on my hands.