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baby come back
[It's been some time since Eames has made the trip to Arthur's place, he's forgotten how long the walk from the station is. He kind of regrets not getting a cab or at least waiting for a bus because it is pissing it down with rain and Eames doesn't typically feel the cold that much, but he's soaked to the bone and his clothes are sticking to him and the wind cuts through him something awful. His hair is plastered to his forehead and he's pretty sure these shoes are ruined, to the point he doesn't even think about walking through puddles because it's not like his feet can get any more cold and wet at this point.]
[It's awful. He feels awful. He's cold and soaked and he can't feel his fingers and he just feels so guilty that it's almost scary. It's not like Eames has never been rude or said something uncalled for, but sometimes Eames is cruel and he's never been like that toward Arthur before. At first because he never cared enough, and then because he cared too much, and it's easy to forget how fucking easy it is for him. How he can target what upsets someone so easily and just twist it like a knife, make it into a weapon because he's angry and someone else is a convenient target to take it out on.]
[The worst part, maybe, is that Arthur was trying to help. He was just trying to be helpful and there's a million ways Eames could've told him he couldn't without being an asshole about it, but instead he pushed and he pushed and Arthur left and god he hates it. He's so fucking mad at himself. Spent days alone in the house waiting like it was just gonna blow over and Arthur would just come home as if it was some dumb little spat he needed an hour to cool off from.]
[Arthur's not gone forever, he's relatively sure. At some point he'd come home and be the bigger man about it, but wouldn't that just be another insult on top of everything? To make Arthur be the one to make the peace when Eames is the one who fucked things up to begin with? So here he is, sodden and freezing and miserable, knocking on Arthur's door like he basically never did before.]
[It's awful. He feels awful. He's cold and soaked and he can't feel his fingers and he just feels so guilty that it's almost scary. It's not like Eames has never been rude or said something uncalled for, but sometimes Eames is cruel and he's never been like that toward Arthur before. At first because he never cared enough, and then because he cared too much, and it's easy to forget how fucking easy it is for him. How he can target what upsets someone so easily and just twist it like a knife, make it into a weapon because he's angry and someone else is a convenient target to take it out on.]
[The worst part, maybe, is that Arthur was trying to help. He was just trying to be helpful and there's a million ways Eames could've told him he couldn't without being an asshole about it, but instead he pushed and he pushed and Arthur left and god he hates it. He's so fucking mad at himself. Spent days alone in the house waiting like it was just gonna blow over and Arthur would just come home as if it was some dumb little spat he needed an hour to cool off from.]
[Arthur's not gone forever, he's relatively sure. At some point he'd come home and be the bigger man about it, but wouldn't that just be another insult on top of everything? To make Arthur be the one to make the peace when Eames is the one who fucked things up to begin with? So here he is, sodden and freezing and miserable, knocking on Arthur's door like he basically never did before.]

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[When he comes out he's careful to dry off enough so he's not dripping everywhere, towelling his hair and feeling exhaustion seep into him as he does. He breathes a short laugh when he spots the sweatpants though, a little thankful, even as he worries they might not be loose enough not to make him look ridiculous. But he pulls them on anyway and comes back out to find Arthur, to find out what's next.]
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I really missed you, you know.
[He says it like this fact deeply annoys him. In some ways it does.]
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[He folds his arms over his chest, a little defensive. Like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.]
I hate going to sleep and waking up without you. Especially when it's my fault.
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Yeah, I...
[He looks away and shakes his head.]
Maybe I shouldn't have left. I could have stayed and tried to sort it out, but I... [he sighs] I needed to clear my head.
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['Fine'? 'Okay'? Eames sighs, a little hesitant to say much of anything here, but he should say something instead of passively agreeing with Arthur.]
You needed space. Maybe you still do, I don't-- I'm not really in a position to complain.
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[Arthur says it kind of abruptly, looking back at Eames.]
Right now I feel like I've had all the space I need.
[He curls his shoulders forward a little, hesitant to ask for the affection he wants. It feels embarrassing to want to just be held for a little while, for Eames to hold him like he means something to him.]
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How about we stay here tonight and I'll come home with you tomorrow.
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That sounds good.
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Feels like it's been a while.
[He doesn't know what he's being hesitant about or why but there's definitely a trace of it in his voice.]
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[Eames arches a little under Arthur's hands, eyes scanning his face for a moment to try and figure out what he's feeling exactly.]
We can just... Lay down. [He lifts a hand to brush through Arthur's hair.] I just want to feel close to you.
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[He's felt vulnerable with Eames before, but never quite this flavour. It's hard for him to wrap his head around - acknowledging that Eames has the ability to hurt him the way he did was a struggle all on its own, and now feeling like he needs him this much almost seems weak, even if Arthur keeps telling himself it's not. He feels tired and raw and frustrated and needy all at the same time and it's leaving him in a state of confusion about how this should proceed. He keeps his hands on Eames, though, sure that whatever happens he wants him to stay close.]
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[He doesn't know if that's helpful or not, but it's true. He's fairly certain it's the case most of the time anyway, but right now it feels especially important. If only to make things up to him, or prove how much he cares or some other shit like that.]
Even if you want me to go out right now and... Find your favourite brand of cereal. I'll do it.
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[He puts his hand on the side of Eames' face to drag his thumb along Eames' cheekbone.]
Just forget I said anything.
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[It's gonna bug him forever, and he's worried it's important.]
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[He sounds frustrated with himself.]
I just want things to be normal right away.
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I wish I could undo it or just fix it, make it like it never happened. Make us okay.
[He sighs, a bit of a sad smile on his face.]
Sadly, I'm not that kind of fae.
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