ruffians | i think i'm losing my grip

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i think i'm losing my grip

[Eames is not unaware of the pattern that's started emerging over these last months. The way the tension and the anger in him starts to build like a pressure cooker left unattended until he's ready to fight with anyone at the drop of a hat. It's almost easy to forget he's not like this after a couple of weeks pass, he's never been an angry person. Never been particularly combative outside specific situations. As the time ticks over, it's about all he can do not to start a fistfight with anyone who looks at him.]

[But then they do a job, and Eames gets an outlet for that violence coiled up inside him, and when they get back he's calm again. Serene. Back to himself. It's not something Eames is oblivious to, he just feels like at this point it's a state of being he has to accept. Every conversation he and Arthur have had gets filed away in his mind as something else to be ashamed of, something else that's off-limits, so this is just what it is now until Arthur gets sick of putting up with him and they part ways.]

[At least they're at the good part of things right now, a few days out from a successful job. Eames, at least, is pretty relaxed. Idly going over a few law enforcement transcripts while he eats to check if there's anything out here they should be aware of.]

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[Arthur doesn't look up when Eames walks in, but when Eames asks for help he finally turns his head and immediately responds with a gentle frown.]

What's up?

Me.

[Eames crosses his arms, looking aside for a moment before he forces himself to look back at Arthur.]

It's that time again.

[Arthur's brow furrows in confusion for a moment, but he quickly realizes what this might be about and puts the tablet down. He stands up and gets up close to Eames, lifting a hand to his cheek.]

What do you need?

[He tilts his head into Arthur's hand, looking up at him with a frown. He hates having to explain himself, and it's taking everything in him not to push Arthur.]

[He exhales heavily through his nose.]

I don't know, I just-- I need something hard and rough and fucking...

[Arthur please he's trying so hard.]

[It's not that Arthur doesn't have any reservations about this, but here Eames is actually asking for once and Arthur wants to help him.]

Okay.

[He takes a deep breath and brushes Eames' cheek with his thumb.]

Let's go.

[Eames exhales and nods, immediately turning to head back to their quarters. He's very impatient here.]

[Arthur follows, taking a deep breath to start reckoning with what they're off to do. He didn't think he'd be fucking anyone as hard as possible today, so it takes a little bit of reorienting.]

[Eames pauses when he gets to the door, just a brief moment's hesitation before he actually goes in. Pausing again by the bed to actually look at Arthur with a light frown.]

We don't have to if you're not up to it. I can wait.

[He's highly aware of the amount of pressure to handle this right, and it's making him anxious. Which is strange on its own, let alone all mixed up with everything else he's feeling. Can't a guy just get thrown around and manhandled without it being a thing.]

[God but that is tempting. It's not that Arthur doesn't want to have sex with Eames — he always wants to have sex with Eames — he's just unsure about how they're gonna do this without it just being a repeat of before. He takes a deep breath and tilts his head at Eames.]

I don't think I need to wait. I think I just need you to tell me what you want, and when we're done I need you try not to completely shut down.

[He scans Eames' face.]

Can you let me take care of you?

[Eames' gaze flicks down to Arthur's chest a moment and then back to his face, jaw clenched because in his current mood? This is extremely annoying and he wants to argue about it, but it's important, it's so fucking important that he has to consider what Arthur's saying to him properly even if that takes longer than it should.]

I can't promise, but I'm really trying, Arthur.

[The honesty should be worth something, right? He swallows and reaches out to put a hand on Arthur's chest. He's trying really fucking hard here.]

I get it if that's not good enough, but I don't... I don't think I can say I will if I don't try.

[Arthur puts his hand over Eames' and gives it a squeeze.]

Okay. Let's give it a shot.

[Now he just has to get it up. Not that that'll be difficult with all this serious subject matter floating around, right?]

[Well here they are. Eames hesitates, unsure what to do here. It's nevee been like this before and he doesn't know if he should ease in or just dive in or wait for Arthur to take the lead. He's certainly never been this outwardly calm or thinking this clearly and Eames doesn't think he likes it.]

[He's quiet, eyes on Arthur's hand over his, and leans in to softly brush his lips over Arthur's for a kiss.]

[Arthur meets him for that kiss, immediately getting a little deeper with it as he steps in closer. He feels so strongly for this man and he wants to take care of him; it's a little counter to what they're about to do but it's helping him through this part.]

[Eames swallows and his fingers curl in the fabric of Arthur's shirt, tugging a little but he's trying not to be aggressive, even if he wants to be. He makes a noise close to a growl in the back of his throat, but that's it.]

[Arthur hears it and presses forward a little more aggressively, putting his hands on Eames' hips and walking him closer to the bed.]

[Eames puts his other hand on Arthur's hip as he moves back, gripping him hard and nips at his bottom lip, mostly still testing the waters to see where Arthur's at because Eames is clearly already there.]

[Arthur tries to meet his intensity, but the whole thing's interrupted by the fact that they're at the bed and should probably get horizontal. He lifts his hand to Eames' chest and gives him a bit of a shove, going to pull his own shirt off once Eames is on the bed.]

[Eames falls back onto the bed and stares up at Arthur, pulling his shirt off and throwing it aside hastily as he waits for him.]

[Arthur throws his shirt aside and is pretty much immediately on Eames again, getting on top of him to start making out, grinding his hips down to help with this whole boner situation. He's not bothering to be slow about this, only taking the time so he can get hard.]

[Eames lifts a leg to hitch his thigh at Arthur's hip and grind right back up against him with a low groan, fingers digging in as soon as he puts his hands up on Arthur's back. He's almost as much teeth as anything else as he kisses Arthur rough and messy.]

[Arthur grunts as he tries to match Eames' intensity, rocking his hips with a purpose as he brings his hand up to Eames' jaw. With a firm grip, he turns Eames' head away, just enough to give him a stretch of skin on his neck to kiss and bite at. He makes a trail of teeth marks and quick hickeys down towards his collarbone, listening to see if this is working for Eames.]

[He pushes back against Arthur's hand, but it's entirely for show, not nearly enough force to make it even a little difficult for Arthur. He swallows and groans, eyes fluttering shut as he arches under Arthur. It's not enough, but it's good, already has Eames extremely responsive.]

[Arthur does that a little while, taking note of the spots that earn him a particularly good response and focusing his efforts there. After a little while he pulls away, sits up and moves his hands to Eames' waistband to tug at it. His voice is thick and his eyes dark as he looks down at him.]

You want it like this or on your knees?

[Eames breathes an amused noise at the question and looks up at Arthur. He has to take a moment to quiet down the million things that rush through his mind to try and put words to what it is he needs from Arthur right now, jaw clenched for a second but his expression settles into something softer as he pushes himself up on an elbow.]

You're not supposed to ask, remember?

[Did they ever discuss it? It's been a long fucking time at this point, but regardless he puts a hand on Arthur's neck, forcing himself to be thoughtful in his tone and his words so Arthur knows he's not just saying all this in the heat of the moment.]

I know it's putting a lot on you, but you know I'm pretty fucking vocal if I'm not okay with something. Don't worry about me.

[besides he's pretty sure they'd hit Arthur's hard lines before his if pushed, but Eames won't say that.]

[Arthur's already flushed but his cheeks get a little hotter as Eames speaks. He barely ever feels anxious about being able to meet Eames' needs, and the idea that he might not be able to get rough enough — after all his pushing Eames to let him help — is somehow deeply embarrassing. He frowns softly and scans Eames' face as he tries to process all of it quickly enough that he doesn't go soft.]

[He finally sighs and looks away, just to relieve some of that shame creeping into his brain.]

Turn over then.

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