vampire trash? me?

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[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

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[Eames doesn't have much else to say, content to finish eating quietly. Well, content is an overstatement, because his mind is still going a mile a minute, but Arthur's presence is reassuring at least.]

[When he's done, he sets his cutlery down and stares at it for a moment. This is it, next step is being bitten-- killed. The thought sends a shock of panic through him. Eames stays still, frozen for a moment. He's been throwing himself at this fearlessly until now, but now he's here and it's about to happen...]

... Okay.

[He looks at Arthur, jaw clenched in concentration.]

Thank you. It was delicious.

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[Arthur tries a reassuring smile and leans forward to put his hand on Eames' cheek.]

We can wait as long as you want.

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[Eames puts his hand over Arthur's with a smile of his own and shakes hisbhead.]

The longer we put it off the more I'll want to keep putting it off.

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[Arthur takes a deep breath, not moving. He understands that feeling completely - he knows he'd be the same way if it were up to him.]

Let's just lay down to start, okay?

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[Eames nods and stands, taking Arthur's hand to lead the way to the bedroom.]

[He also takes Arthur's glass of wine and downs the whole thing in one gulp. Now they can lay down.]

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[Arthur goes with him, squeezing his hand as they go. He crawls into bed when the get there, waiting for Eames to lay down so they can start just cuddling.]

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[Eames slips his shirt off and crawls on the bed, immediately curling up to Arthur's side with a soft sigh. His pulse is racing and he can feel it in his throat, but he ignores it, nosing at Arthur instead.]

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[Arthur hears Eames’ heartbeat loud and clear. He’s thirsty for his blood already, having abstained for the past couple days, but he’s strong enough not to let that distract him from the matter at hand. He puts his hand on Eames’ chest, over his heart, and hums.]

It’s going to be okay, Eames.

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I know.

[It doesn't do anything to calm him down, but he presses his face into Arthur's shoulder with a heavy sigh.]

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[Arthur brings his hand up to the back of Eames' head to stroke his hair.]

This is the last time I'll ask, but... Are you having second thoughts?

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No. Not at all.

[He looks up at Arthur, bringing a hand up to his face and meets his eyes.]

It's just natural, not wanting to die, but I know it's worth it.

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[Arthur nods, gazing back into Eames' eyes, feeling too many emotions to name. He's so excited to start this journey but this night has to go perfectly first and that makes him nervous.]

Just ler me know when you want to start drinking my blood and we'll go from there.

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Want is a strong word.

[Eames says it with a wry smile and leans in for a quick kiss.]

Let's get this underway.

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[Arthur lingers, nuzzling at Eames' face for a moment before he pulls away. He sits up, gesturing for Eames to sit up as well, and then he brings his wrist up to his mouth and sinks his fangs into the thin skin on the inside of his arm.]

[When the blood starts flowing he holds it out for Eames to start drinking.]

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[Eames wrinkles his nose in distaste, the same kind of face a child makes when faced with brussel sprouts, and he hesitantly takes his wrist and lowers his head to drink Arthur's blood.]

[God it's gross.]

[He also is realising he actually has no idea how to do this. Does he suck the blood out, or... He furrows his brow in confusion and gingerly kind of just... Laps at it...]

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[Arthur's patient for a moment, letting Eames get used to the taste, but he knows he'll heal up soon and he doesn't want to have to bite himself too many times.]

You have to drink as much as you can.

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[He makes a noise of frustration that might indicate he has no idea what he's doing, but fine. Okay. He closes his mouth over the bite and sucks.]

[Eames makes kind of a gagging noise, in a way it reminds him of getting blood in his throat with a nosebleed and it's nuts to consider that he's going to love this stuff a day from now when just the taste makes him a little ill now, but he powers through it. Trying to get down at least a decent mouthful before either Arthur heals or he can't stomach any more.]

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[Arthur's instinct is to tell Eames not to be so dramatic, but he honestly can't remember the taste of blood as a human and doesn't think he ever had to drink it on purpose - he's always had to assume that Mal had to feed it to him after he had lost too much blood, so he was unconscious for this part of his own turning. That doesn't mean he's willing to take any chances with Eames, though.]

[After a little while he feels the holes start to close and he gently pulls his wrist away.]

I can make another bite if you can drink more.

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[He's pretty sure this is more than enough, but he lifts his head to look at Arthur and nods.]

Better safe than sorry.

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[Arthur's eyebrows knit together with concern but he brings his wrist back up to his mouth and bites down again a little farther up his arm. He holds it back up for Eames as he wipes his mouth with the back of his other hand.]

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[Well it's still gross, but Eames manages with less drama this time. He sucks at the bite until he's pretty sure he can't stomach it anymore and lifts his head with a frown.]

I think that's about as much as I can manage.

[He rubs a thumb in circles just above the most recent bite on his arm and looks at it thoughtfully.]

I'm sure this is much more than enough anyway.

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There's no such thing as too much.

[Arthur puts his arm down and leans in to kiss Eames' cheek. He's feeling a little extra weak now that he's given up some of the limited blood he had but he's not going to push Eames to be ready to be bitten.]

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[He smiles back and cups Arthur's face, instinctively turning to kiss him on the lips, but he suddenly thinks it might be weird with Arthur's blood in his mouth and stops himself.]

[He really could do with a little affection before they move to the next step though, and he tries to get a little closer to Arthur.]

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[Arthur's absolutely amenable to that, nosing at Eames' jaw as he gets a little bit closer.]

I love you.

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I love you too.

[Eames hums at the attention and tilts his head a little to invite more of it, trying to position himself so he can slip an arm around Arthur at the same time.]