vampire trash? me?

[falsify]

[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

[falsify]

[Eames fully believes there's an ulterior motive here, but he doesn't care because he loves steak and he loves it even more when someone else makes it. He smiles when Arthur sets the plate down and strokes a hand down his arm in a silent thanks.]

Smells amazing.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur gives him a smile and takes Eames' hand, squeezing it briefly before he lets go and turns away to pick up the glass of wine he's been nursing since he woke up. He's been drinking the bare minimum of blood the past few days and he feels a bit empty, like he's running on fumes, but he's had enough that he can spare his own blood for Eames and so he won't be too desperate to drink too fast once he bites him.]

[As much as he's gotten used to the idea, the anticipation of that moment when Eames' heart stops beating is still making him a little sick to his stomach, but he's well past vocalizing that or even showing it much at all. Instead he just sighs and leans on the counter.]

[falsify]

[Eames has been dealing with his anxiety by focusing on anything except how he's going to die tonight. The idea that they could mess it up somehow is hard to shake, but he can at least push it to the back of his mind in favour of focusing how good this food is. Eames digs in with a noise of pleasure at the first mouthful.]

[specifiercity]

Can I have a bite?

[Arthur nods to the steak and makes his way back to the table, putting his hand on Eames' shoulder and sitting down next to him.]

[falsify]

Sure.

[He cuts off a piece and lifts the fork to feed it to Arthur.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hums appreciation as he chews the steak, sitting back and smiling at Eames.]

So how was your day?

[falsify]

[There's not really a good way to say "I spent the whole day anxiously thinking about the fact that my boyfriend is going to kill me tonight to the point that I'm intensely stressed about it," so he just sighs and shrugs a shoulder.]

Nothing special.

[He pauses to put a hand on Arthur's thigh and give an affectionate squeeze.]

I took all this time off to get ready for tonight, but it's been kind of boring without you or work to keep me busy.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur nods thoughtfully.]

Well, I don't think boredom's going to be much of a problem after tonight.

[falsify]

[Eames goes back to his food.]

At least we'll be bored together if it is.

[specifiercity]

[He smiles and lets a beat of silence pass before he speaks again.]

Do you have any plans for the rest of the week? Anything you wanted to do?

[falsify]

I imagine this whole "lusting for the blood of mortals" thing might take some getting used to.

[He glances at Arthur with a raised eyebrow and a light smile.]

I think I need to see how I feel when I wake up before I can really plan ahead.

[specifiercity]

Yeah.

[He says it like he's admitting it was a dumb question, but he's just trying to cement in both of their minds that all is going to go well and Eames is going to wake up a new vampire tomorrow night without a hitch. They've done everything they can to prepare and Arthur's been through the process a million times in his head, but there's still a nagging worry.]

[falsify]

[Eames doesn't have much else to say, content to finish eating quietly. Well, content is an overstatement, because his mind is still going a mile a minute, but Arthur's presence is reassuring at least.]

[When he's done, he sets his cutlery down and stares at it for a moment. This is it, next step is being bitten-- killed. The thought sends a shock of panic through him. Eames stays still, frozen for a moment. He's been throwing himself at this fearlessly until now, but now he's here and it's about to happen...]

... Okay.

[He looks at Arthur, jaw clenched in concentration.]

Thank you. It was delicious.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur tries a reassuring smile and leans forward to put his hand on Eames' cheek.]

We can wait as long as you want.

[falsify]

[Eames puts his hand over Arthur's with a smile of his own and shakes hisbhead.]

The longer we put it off the more I'll want to keep putting it off.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur takes a deep breath, not moving. He understands that feeling completely - he knows he'd be the same way if it were up to him.]

Let's just lay down to start, okay?

[falsify]

[Eames nods and stands, taking Arthur's hand to lead the way to the bedroom.]

[He also takes Arthur's glass of wine and downs the whole thing in one gulp. Now they can lay down.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur goes with him, squeezing his hand as they go. He crawls into bed when the get there, waiting for Eames to lay down so they can start just cuddling.]

[falsify]

[Eames slips his shirt off and crawls on the bed, immediately curling up to Arthur's side with a soft sigh. His pulse is racing and he can feel it in his throat, but he ignores it, nosing at Arthur instead.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hears Eames’ heartbeat loud and clear. He’s thirsty for his blood already, having abstained for the past couple days, but he’s strong enough not to let that distract him from the matter at hand. He puts his hand on Eames’ chest, over his heart, and hums.]

It’s going to be okay, Eames.

[falsify]

I know.

[It doesn't do anything to calm him down, but he presses his face into Arthur's shoulder with a heavy sigh.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur brings his hand up to the back of Eames' head to stroke his hair.]

This is the last time I'll ask, but... Are you having second thoughts?

[falsify]

No. Not at all.

[He looks up at Arthur, bringing a hand up to his face and meets his eyes.]

It's just natural, not wanting to die, but I know it's worth it.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur nods, gazing back into Eames' eyes, feeling too many emotions to name. He's so excited to start this journey but this night has to go perfectly first and that makes him nervous.]

Just ler me know when you want to start drinking my blood and we'll go from there.

[falsify]

Want is a strong word.

[Eames says it with a wry smile and leans in for a quick kiss.]

Let's get this underway.