vampire trash? me?

[falsify]

[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

[falsify]

I'm always comfortable with you.

[He looks like he wants to add something to that, but Eames wisely stops himself from making any dumb jokes. They don't need a fight about this, and Arthur sounds like he'd be pretty easy to rile up right now.]

[specifiercity]

[He clenches his jaw and looks around the room briefly, at anything but Eames. He decides they can deal with the last supper problem later; there are other things to sort out right now.]

[He frowns as he tries to formulate the next one. It's something he's been deliberating on whether he needs to ask at all but now he thinks it's better if Eames knows exactly what to expect and feels at least some measure of control over this particular thing. His tone is level but somber, with all the gravity of the situation.]

Do you want it to be quick?

[falsify]

I don't...

[It's tough to decide how he wants it to happen on the spot like this. Eames looks down and takes a sip of his coffee to stall a little, trying to decide. Part if why he enjoys the biting is the intimacy, something that feels almost naked in its honesty. It always hurts, but something about that overrides it for him, makes it background noise. Even if he's not getting off on the whole thing, something about it just feels good on a much deeper level than the bite itself.]

[But Arthur's always been careful before, draining a person dry is different than taking a meal here and there, who knows what that feels like.]

[Then again, blood loss makes people tired, and he's been dangerously low from a bite before. Eames knows what that feels like. More than likely he'd pass out before it kills him. Maybe.]

[He swallows, still looking down at his coffee.]

No-- No, I don't think I do.

[He looks up at Arthur, brows pulled together in a frown.]

Is that strange?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's expression remains steady as he thinks on that for a moment and then shakes his head.]

No.

[He realizes he's tense through his shoulders and tries to relax with a deep breath, looking down at his hands and frowning.]

I can take it slow, wait til you're asleep before I...

[He winces as his own brain trips over the whole concept. He's been fighting this instinct for so long with Eames, and the one time he let it take over still causes him immobilizing guilt. He's scared of how good it might feel and how he might lose himself during the process - Eames'll drink his blood before they start to make sure nothing goes wrong but even if it goes right and Arthur enjoys it a little too much he doesn't know if he can live with himself afterwards.]

[falsify]

[Eames reaches across the table for Arthur's hand. He doesn't know what he's thinking, but he has an inkling, and he sighs softly.]

Arthur, if you can't do this it's okay.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur shakes his head right away.]

I don't trust you with anyone else. I'm not worried about whether I can do it or not.

[falsify]

Okay.

[Eames squeezes his hand.]

I just don't want to push you too hard on this.

[specifiercity]

You're not.

[His tone softens and he attempts a smile.]

The fact that I have a problem with killing you is a good thing, believe me.

[falsify]

Trust me, I've always been glad about that.

[He gives Arthur's hand another squeeze and a faint smile across the table.]

I just know this is hard on you. Conceptually. It would be difficult for me too.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur puts his other hand over Eames', thumbs caressing his skin softly.]

It took me decades to trust myself to live with a human, have feelings for one. Part of me feels like I'm undoing all of that.

[falsify]

You're not.

[Eames' smile brightens a little, softening as he looks down and away from Arthur's face because he's about to say some sappy shit.]

Think about it this way. You've made me feel safe with you this long, I'm putting my life in your hands so I can spend a theoretical eternity with you.

[He glances up, a little hesitant.]

That's not undoing anything. It's cementing that all that effort was worth it.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur smiles bashfully, looking down at their hands, and then he says the only thing that feels appropriate for the situation as he looks back up.]

I love you.

[falsify]

I love you too.

[He squeezes Arthur's hand again.]

Anything else we need to plan out before you get irreparably soppy?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur gets up out of his chair, still holding on to Eames’ hand as he comes around the corner of the table and slips into Eames’ lap.]

That ship has sailed.

[falsify]

[Eames laughs and wraps an arm around him, pressing his face against Arthur's shoulder with a kiss.]

Disgusting.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur noses at the top of Eames' head.[

I can't think of anything else right now. I just have to figure out how to preserve the mattress.

[falsify]

[Eames breathes a quiet chuckle against Arthur's shoulder, pressing another kiss to it before electing to just rest his cheek there instead.]

We can use my bed. I don't remember the last time I slept in it anyway.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur brings his hand up to brush his fingers through Eames' hair.]

It's still a perfectly good mattress. I'll have to see if I can get a really good mattress protector.

[falsify]

Okay.

[No protests from Eames. Though the thought of making such a mess trips him a little, tensing just briefly at the image it conjures of him on the bed in a pool of blood.]

We can afford a new one if not.

[specifiercity]

Mm.

[Arthur’s done talking about this.]

How was your day?

[falsify]

Boring.

[He sighs.]

Went to the park, read a book. Threw the book away because a bird shit on it.

[riveting stuff]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur nods.]

What do you want for dinner?

[falsify]

I think I'm in the mood for something spicy.

[He lifts his head to look at Arthur with a playful expression.]

Get my temperature up a bit.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur raises an eyebrow and leans back to look at him with a grin.]

Cajun?

[falsify]

[He makes a noise like just the suggestion alone is something he's wanted forever.]

Yes. That sounds perfect.