vampire trash? me?

[falsify]

[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hums happily as he kisses him, pulling back after a moment.]

How about we just enjoy the rest of tonight and we can start making actual plans tomorrow.

[falsify]

[Eames nods and makes a soft noise, agreeing. Which Eames has decided means Arthur is going to accommodate Eames laying all over him because he's tired and cranky.]

[He doesn't even wait for Arthur's input, he just lays himself on the couch and puts his head in his lap, looking up at Arthur all pleased with himself.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's absolutely fine with all of that, and when Eames lays down he puts his hand on his cheek and smiles back down at him affectionately. They spend the rest of the night like that, just laying together and talking about nothing too heavy. It's nice.]

[The next night, Arthur doesn't bother beating around the bush about it. He wakes up and gets some blood and some coffee in him and sits down at the table already looking a little bit tired about all of this.]

[falsify]

[Well it's always great when you go into the kitchen and your boyfriend looks like he's about to interview you at the end of a long day. Eames pours his own coffee and sits down opposite Arthur, his own brand of tired, and sighs.]

So what do we need to talk about?

[That's why he's wearing the face, right.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur knows he's maybe making this look more ominous than it needs to be, and he sighs.]

How about setting a date?

[falsify]

Okay.

[Eames has to stop himself just asking Arthur when's good for him like they're scheduling a night out, instead taking a moment to think about it and if there's anything he needs to do beforehand.]

How about a week from today?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur has to stop himself from asking if that's too soon, slowly nodding instead.]

We'll plan for that, then.

[It already feels more real and immediate which twists Arthur's stomach in both anxiety and excitement.]

I wanna do it early. Couple hours after sunset. It's not exact but it takes roughly twenty four hours before you'll wake up and I'd rather have the time after than before.

[falsify]

That sounds good.

[Eames offers up a slight smile.]

Maybe I'll make us something nice before... ["Before you kill me"? Nice.] You know.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sits back in his chair with a sigh, looking down at his mug.]

I probably won't bother eating.

[falsify]

[He almost asks why and then he realises, snorting a laugh over the rim of his mug when the realisation catches him. A little discomfort, but something about the candid statement is just funny to him.]

Guess I'll have my last supper alone then.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur realizes how harsh that may have come out and sighs again like he's reprimanding himself.]

No, I... I should make you something.

[falsify]

[He scoffs at that.] You're going to get out of bed and make me dinner?

[specifiercity]

I just want to make sure you feel comfortable.

[His tone is entering into impatient and annoyed territory.]

[falsify]

I'm always comfortable with you.

[He looks like he wants to add something to that, but Eames wisely stops himself from making any dumb jokes. They don't need a fight about this, and Arthur sounds like he'd be pretty easy to rile up right now.]

[specifiercity]

[He clenches his jaw and looks around the room briefly, at anything but Eames. He decides they can deal with the last supper problem later; there are other things to sort out right now.]

[He frowns as he tries to formulate the next one. It's something he's been deliberating on whether he needs to ask at all but now he thinks it's better if Eames knows exactly what to expect and feels at least some measure of control over this particular thing. His tone is level but somber, with all the gravity of the situation.]

Do you want it to be quick?

[falsify]

I don't...

[It's tough to decide how he wants it to happen on the spot like this. Eames looks down and takes a sip of his coffee to stall a little, trying to decide. Part if why he enjoys the biting is the intimacy, something that feels almost naked in its honesty. It always hurts, but something about that overrides it for him, makes it background noise. Even if he's not getting off on the whole thing, something about it just feels good on a much deeper level than the bite itself.]

[But Arthur's always been careful before, draining a person dry is different than taking a meal here and there, who knows what that feels like.]

[Then again, blood loss makes people tired, and he's been dangerously low from a bite before. Eames knows what that feels like. More than likely he'd pass out before it kills him. Maybe.]

[He swallows, still looking down at his coffee.]

No-- No, I don't think I do.

[He looks up at Arthur, brows pulled together in a frown.]

Is that strange?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's expression remains steady as he thinks on that for a moment and then shakes his head.]

No.

[He realizes he's tense through his shoulders and tries to relax with a deep breath, looking down at his hands and frowning.]

I can take it slow, wait til you're asleep before I...

[He winces as his own brain trips over the whole concept. He's been fighting this instinct for so long with Eames, and the one time he let it take over still causes him immobilizing guilt. He's scared of how good it might feel and how he might lose himself during the process - Eames'll drink his blood before they start to make sure nothing goes wrong but even if it goes right and Arthur enjoys it a little too much he doesn't know if he can live with himself afterwards.]

[falsify]

[Eames reaches across the table for Arthur's hand. He doesn't know what he's thinking, but he has an inkling, and he sighs softly.]

Arthur, if you can't do this it's okay.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur shakes his head right away.]

I don't trust you with anyone else. I'm not worried about whether I can do it or not.

[falsify]

Okay.

[Eames squeezes his hand.]

I just don't want to push you too hard on this.

[specifiercity]

You're not.

[His tone softens and he attempts a smile.]

The fact that I have a problem with killing you is a good thing, believe me.

[falsify]

Trust me, I've always been glad about that.

[He gives Arthur's hand another squeeze and a faint smile across the table.]

I just know this is hard on you. Conceptually. It would be difficult for me too.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur puts his other hand over Eames', thumbs caressing his skin softly.]

It took me decades to trust myself to live with a human, have feelings for one. Part of me feels like I'm undoing all of that.

[falsify]

You're not.

[Eames' smile brightens a little, softening as he looks down and away from Arthur's face because he's about to say some sappy shit.]

Think about it this way. You've made me feel safe with you this long, I'm putting my life in your hands so I can spend a theoretical eternity with you.

[He glances up, a little hesitant.]

That's not undoing anything. It's cementing that all that effort was worth it.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur smiles bashfully, looking down at their hands, and then he says the only thing that feels appropriate for the situation as he looks back up.]

I love you.