vampire trash? me?

[falsify]

[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

[falsify]

[Eames doesn't really want Arthur to get out of the bed, but being a little less disgusting sounds really good so he'll allow it. Eames is just going to lay back and wait.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur’s back quickly, holding a damp washcloth. He sits back down on the bed and brushes Eames’ hair back with his free hand while he gently wipes away the dried blood on his neck.]

[falsify]

Wait--

[He pushes Arthur's hand away, but it's just so he can sit up and lean back against him, closing his eyes with a little sigh.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur adjusts to accommodate Eames with a smile and then he goes back to wiping up Eames’ neck. Once it’s all mopped up he moves to Eames’ stomach, kissing Eames’ temple and humming affectionately.]

[falsify]

[Eames grins widely at the attention and rests a hand on Arthur's leg. He could easily go back to sleep like this, but he'll try not to, instead just tilting his head toward Arthur's lips with a sigh and closed eyes.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur grins too, nosing at Eames’ hair.]

God, look at you.

[That’s what Arthur’s doing right now and he’s really enjoying it.]

[falsify]

What?

[He opens his eyes and turns his head to look at Arthur with a slight frown.]

[specifiercity]

I’m just admiring how gorgeous you are.

[falsify]

[Eames settles back again with a nod; that's acceptable. Eames would admire how gorgeous he is too if he were in Arthur's place.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur laughs softly and continues, careful to actually clean up and not just smear the mess around. Once that's done he successfully tosses the cloth into the laundry hamper and then wraps both arms around Eames comfortably.]

[falsify]

[Eames leans back against Arthur with another happy sigh, resting his hands on Arthur's forearms and settling in to stay like this for a little while. He's just really overcome with affection for this man right now (and part of him looking forward to Arthur not being able to tell he's having Emotions because of how he sounds or feels or whatever,) and it could be the fact he's still not fully awake, or the tenderness Arthur's taking care of him with, but Eames can't stop himself murmuring a gentle declaration of love as he settles.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur hums a response in kind, giving Eames a gentle squeeze.]

Maybe you should go back to sleep.

[falsify]

[Eames shakes his head and turns a little so he can look at Arthur properly, obviously still sleepy but he's fully lucid and lifts a hand to trail his fingers along Arthur's jaw.]

I have this time off, and we don't get to actually sleep together much.

[He tilts his head a little and smiles.]

Plus I might as well get used to this "sleeping all day" thing.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur smiles back at him but his eyebrows knit together in mild concern.]

That'll come naturally.

[falsify]

[Eames gives Arthur a flat look in response. He knows that, it was just flavour for a cute statement that Arthur's ruining.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur sighs, almost apologetic.]

I just think you should soak up every bit of daylight that you still can.

[He puts his palm flat on Eames' stomach and drags it up to his chest.]

Just because you went and got this beautiful tan doesn't mean I think you should quit sunlight all together yet.

[falsify]

Arthur, I'm not going to be regretting a few days worth of sun in twenty years.

[He frowns, looking down at Arthur's hand on his chest. Logically he knows he's right, but it's not what Eames wants.]

It'll be easier to plan everything if we're on the same schedule

[He trails off weakly, realising it's a poor excuse the second it comes out of his mouth. Maybe he's just gotten ahead of himself here, it's not like this is something he won't be able to do weeks from now; it's going to become the norm pretty soon.]

[But on the other hand it's really not his fault that Arthur's a lot more appealing than the sun.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur leans back and studies Eames' face thoughtfully. It takes a little while before he speaks.]

I get that you're eager to do this.

[It sounds like there's a 'but' coming at the end of that sentence, and Arthur even feels compelled to come up with one on the spot, but...]

I guess we should start really talking about it.

[falsify]

Maybe when I'm a bit more awake.

[If he sounds a little like he's disengaging it's because he is. It's rare for Eames to let his excitement or his feelings get the better of him and to say he feels embarrassed or stupid because of it would be an understatement.]

[Still not looking at Arthur, he turns his head to look at the pillows and slips away from him to lie down.]

I'm going to get some more sleep.

[specifiercity]

[His immediate instinct is to tell Eames to quit avoiding the problem, but he thinks better of it, taking a deep breath instead. He affectionately rubs Eames' shoulder and then turns around to get out of bed, picking up his laptop.]

I'm not going anywhere tonight so if you decide to stay up I'll be in the living room.

[falsify]

[Eames gets another little bit of sleep, but it's not much. He's in a shit mood now and it's hard to sleep comfortably in that circumstance. It's only an hour, maybe an hour and a half before he's throwing on some sweatpants and heading out to the living room to find Arthur.]

[He doesn't exactly look happy, but he sits down on the couch with a sigh.]

Okay, let's talk about this.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur raises his eyebrows as Eames walks in, hoping he's not in a terrible enough mood that he wants to start a fight or whatever. It's hard not to sigh with relief when it turns out it's not that, but the hesitance he feels to be too assuming here definitely helps with that.]

Okay. Where do you want to start?

[falsify]

No idea.

[He shrugs and purses his lips, he's being a little short, but he's trying to push through his mood here.]

[He sighs.] What's been on your mind the most?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur has to deliberate on whether he's going to be honest about this for a moment. The real answer feels a little crazy and he only managed to say it out loud once he got to Mal's and he doesn't want to burden Eames with this. It takes a little while before he speaks.]

Honestly, it's just the idea that I'm going to screw this up somehow. I mean, it's not like it's hard - vampires do it by accident all the time and you have to monumentally fuck part of it up to fail but... you're putting your life in my hands. Part of me really wants to delay that, which is why I'm...

[He gestures vaguely. He knows he's been pushing Eames to enjoy his time as a mortal, sometimes as a way to avoid talking about all of this, but now it's time.]

[falsify]

[Eames actually has to laugh at that. He doesn't mean to, but it bubbles out of him and he shakes his head and looks at Arthur.]

You have no idea how hard it is not to be thinking about it all the time.

[He lifts his chin and sighs.]

I'm really not okay with the idea of ending up dead and gone, but I'm trusting you with my life every time you bite me. I'm trying really hard to just... Think of it like that. I know it's not the same, but I'd easily go insane fretting over whether or not this'll be the end of me.