vampire trash? me?

[falsify]

[It's been on his mind a lot over the last few weeks, the idea of becoming a vampire. Partially because he's looking older than Arthur these days, and if he lets that go on too long it's going to get pretty weird, but moreover he just feels ready]

[Anxious as fuck, but ready.]

[The idea of it is terrifying — he'd gone to Mal for an explanation of the finer details rather than worry Arthur with his questions, seeing as she's actually done it before and Arthur hasn't — the idea that he could just... Die. It's not one that sits easy with Eames. He rather likes being alive, in fact half the point of becoming a vampire is to keep being alive, for a stretch on the word, forever.]

[So he's been dealing with that a lot, pretending otherwise whenever Arthur notices him being distant or pensive so he can work out his feelings on this without any outside influence. He knows Arthur wouldn't be mad if he changed his mind, it's a huge change to undertake, but it's not that he might not want this so much as wondering if the risks are really worth it.]

[They are.]

[But now they need to talk about it, so Eames is psyching himself up to do exactly that. Offered to stay in and make dinner while Arthur's off doing his errands to give himself some time alone to think about it. Maybe making some significant progress on a bottle of wine to calm his nerves, maybe it'll slow him down enough Arthur won't realise how keyed up he is the second he gets home.]

Comments

[specifiercity]

[Arthur keeps frowning, glancing down at his food.]

Why couldn't you come to me?

[falsify]

["I didn't want to freak you out" and "you've never done this before" are the first things that come to mind, but Eames stops himself from saying either of those, sighing softly and looking back up at Arthur.]

I didn't want you to know I was thinking about this until I was sure how I felt.

[Good, nailed it.]

And you've never turned someone before so I thought... Best to talk to someone who's experienced both sides.

[Stupid wine.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur frowns down at their hands and then nods after a moment.]

I wish she would have called me.

[falsify]

Would've defeated the purpose of talking to her if she had, no?

[He squeezes Arthur's hand and ducks his head to try and catch his gaze, eyebrows pulled together in a mildly worried expression. He can't tell how Arthur feels, a little worried it's 'upset' or 'betrayed' or something similar.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur meets his gaze, looking a little like one of those words but really trying to temper his expression.]

I would have been a little more prepared.

[falsify]

[Eames sighs. Honestly he'd hoped Arthur would be happier about this-- excited, even. He understands why he's not, but it's still a bit of a let down.]

Are you upset?

[He still looks a little worried, mostly hoping Arthur says no.]

[specifiercity]

[He brings his free hand up to his face and rubs it tiredly.]

I'm just... stressed out. Being turned wasn't exactly an easy transition for me; when I think about all of those feelings and how I'm going to be responsible for you going through all of that too... It's hard. I know this is worth it in the long run if it's what you want to do but this part is going to be rough.

[falsify]

But I'll have you to help me through it.

[Eames looks down, pushing a bit of food around his plate with his fork. He's lost his appetite, which is a shame because this is good, but whatever.]

You didn't have a choice, but I do. And I'm not exactly making an uninformed decision here.

[specifiercity]

I'm not questioning that - I want this, I really do, especially if you do too. I wouldn't have offered if I thought more harm would come of it than good.

[He feels bad for ruining dinner and maybe Eames' buzz along with it, but this is too big to just gloss over.]

I guess this just brought up a lot of bad memories for me and that combined with worrying something might go wrong is just a little much right now.

[falsify]

Focus on the good things instead.

[He puts his other hand over Arthur's, holding it with both of them and raising an eyebrow at Arthur.]

Think about how disgusted you're going to be when I drink blood straight from the bag like it's a Capri Sun.

[specifiercity]

[Arthur closes his eyes and shakes his head but there's a smile tugging at his lips.]

Please don't do that.

[falsify]

I've never understood why you bother with the mug.

[specifiercity]

Mostly because it tastes better heated up and you can't microwave plastic.

[Try to argue with those facts Eames.]

[falsify]

Arthur.

[You're immortal you don't need to worry about plastic toxins.]

[specifiercity]

You've never bitten into warmed up soft plastic.

[falsify]

It's going to happen. Probably more than once.

[specifiercity]

You're so gross.

[falsify]

Yeah, but you love me this way.

[And how could anyone not love that smile?]

[specifiercity]

I really do.

[Arthur squeezes Eames' hand, gazing affectionately at him and hoping that he'll get the hint and carry him off to be cuddled.]

[falsify]

[Eames smiles back all fondly and glances down at Arthur's plate.]

You finished with that?

[specifiercity]

[Arthur looks down at his food and then sighs, accepting his fate.]

Yes.

[falsify]

[It's time to drag Arthur back to the bedroom then. Eames doesn't say anything, just gets up and lightly tugs on Arthur's hand to get him to come with. He's feeling very vulnerable right now and would like his strong boyfriend to hold him.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur's feeling pretty vulnerable himself so he follows willingly.]

[falsify]

[He's not as aggressive as earlier, slipping into bed and pulling back the covers for Arthur to get in.]

[specifiercity]

[Arthur slips in with him, immediately slipping his arm around Eames' waist and getting himself in all close. He loves this stupid man so much.]